Saturday, January 29, 2022

Grandma's Grief

 Kayla

December 7, 2004 - January 15, 2022


Celebration of Life Address

January 27, 2022



I'm Kayla's grandma. She has lived with me for most of her 17 years. I miss her. 

Missing her is not easy. It doesn't matter if I miss her standing up, miss her sitting down or miss her lying down. A heavy weight keeps me in place; keeps me from moving. I feel numb but at the same time feel such a profound sadness, despair, helplessness. I sit and stare at nothing and yet an endless loop plays over and over again in my mind full of images and memories of Kayla mixed with lots of unanswered questions. 

I thought if I could write about her, put the essence of Kayla on paper, I could later read about her whenever I wanted and like all good story book characters she would come alive in my mind. 

 At first I could not find the words but I wrote a few down every day. When I did finally put some words into cohesive sentences the words were just not right. I wrote and backspaced and rewrote and deleted. I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote and rewrote in my mind only to wake up in the morning, write down the words that kept me up all night and then spend hours and hours again writing, deleting, cutting, writing again. Sadly, nothing I have written has brought her character to life for me. I'd like to share what I've written so far. Maybe for just these few minutes she will come alive for you. I'm not sure I actually have the strength to speak them. Bear with me. I'm a very shy person.   I have a difficult time speaking one on one with people. The thought of speaking before a group, for me, is the stuff nightmares are made of. In the best of times when I have had to speak before a group I've had a difficult time controlling the quiver in my voice, sweaty armpits, shaky hands, and rumbling stomach that comes with a fear that a churning stomach will result in a gas leak.  Just so you know...I may not be able to control the tears, shaky voice and hands, sweating armpits and rumbling noises coming from my stomach but I'm going to try really really hard to prevent a massive gas explosion. 

Over 17 years ago two angels popped into our lives when they were needed the most. The first angel, named Isabelle, arrived on October 31, 2004. The second, named Kayla, arrived 5 weeks later on December 7, 2004.  Since then around our house "IsabelleandKayla" has been all one word - the collective noun used to describe a dynamic duo of angels. A few days ago one of those Angels decided she had some urgent business to tend to elsewhere and "poof" she was gone in an instant.

Kayla,  like all little girls, was born "sugar and spice and everything nice". Everything nice included pink. "Pink" was one of her first words and how appropriate because she seemed always to be "in the pink".  As Kayla matured black became the new pink and she became "giggles and rainbows, song and dance, hugs and kisses, skittles and chocolate, bling and glitter" personified.  

When I first began to write this little ditty about a girl named Kayla I jotted down a few words that I thought described her best. One of the first words that came to mind was "goofball".  I kept thinking I should change "goofball" to something that sounds maybe a little nicer like "free spirit" but that didn't seem right either. She was a free spirit but goofball overrules free spirit in my play book So I stuck with...

"Kayla was a goofball and I think that's a good thing". 

After I wrote that I was having a difficult time defining what I meant by goofball and why I thought it was a good thing. Sooooo...., guess what...I spent almost a whole day researching goofballs and basically what I found out about goofballs was: 


The word "goofball" is old-fashioned and fun and when it comes around to calling someone a goofball, it's a real compliment.


Being a goofball comes naturally, and one of the qualities of goofball-ness is that the goofball is usually a person who can laugh at themselves and take a joke without being upset. Goofballs show the world that it's okay to laugh. Goofballs love to make others laugh — and not only that, they know how to bring out the love in others as well. When a person makes fun of themselves or does something to draw attention to themselves in a humorous or super corny way, that's the goofball gift that keeps on giving.

We remember goofballs. And we remember them because we are impressed with their lack of pretense and their honest ways.

Goofballs don't take life too seriously. They just enjoy the passage of time. 

The day I was doing my research on goofballs I took a break to go check on Linda and Sean. Linda told me she found an old video of Kayla on her Facebook page that I needed to see. I guess I miss  a lot of things because I don't hang out on Facebook. There in the short clip was little girl Kayla dancing around and singing to the tune of "Staying Alive". That goofball! On a day I was researching goofballs she magically pops up in one of her goofball videos and of all the millions of songs she could have been singing it was "Staying alive " Cue the Twilight Zone music. There seemed to be some kind of eerie message in that video. 

Yes, yes...Kayla was a goofball.

As she got into her teen years I never knew what style or color her hair would be from one day to the next. One day she might have long hair that was blond on one side and brunette on the other and the next month she might have shaved red hair on one side and and long green hair on the other.  I never told her this but I am ashamed to admit that at times I was a little embarrassed to be seen with her in public sporting her wildest and craziest 'dos and hair colors. This old lady has had the same hair style since high school and although the color has changed since high school that was a natural occurrence. How shallow of me to think her hair style and color changed her in some way. How shallow of me that at those times I let appearance overrule the "sugar and spice and everything nice" she was born with way down deep inside. Those times she should have been both embarrassed and ashamed to be seen with me. I would give anything now to be seen with her in public with any 'do. That's the problem with death and grief and the guilt that goes with it...it leaves us with a quite a few sentences that begin with "I would give anything".

While Kayla was having fun perfecting her "look" she figured out that no hair color or style would never clash with a smile so she put one of those on 'most every day. (At this point in my mind I hear the words to  "Put on a Happy Face"). 

Pick out a pleasant outlook,

Stick out that noble chin;

Wipe off that "full of doubt" look,

Slap on a happy grin!

And spread sunshine all over the place,

Just put on a happy face!  

She has always had an endless supply of smiles in her bag of makeup. I'm not just imagining all those smiles. I've looked through hundreds of photos of Kayla the last few days and I've had it confirmed...she really did have an endless supply of smiles. They were infectious. It's sad that smiles don't show through the masks we wear to keep away other types of infections. 

Kayla and her smiles "lit up a room". I know that's an oft used phrase. I'll tell you what that means to me. I know a lot of people who carry a load of negative energy and a bag of invisible poop around with them.  Those people enter a room and start flinging that negative energy and bag of poop around the room and you feel the urge to run. But before you can get up and run all of your strength has been zapped and you are covered in a heavy layer of poop. That is not a good feeling. That stinks. Kayla was not a poop flinger. Kayla bounced into a room with positive energy and a bag full to the brim of sunshine and moonbeams and glitter to fling around. Oh, yeah, Kayla knew how to light up a room in style!

Life for Kayla was not always hunky-dory, easy-peasy. Most characters in the plot called life suffer through some sort of conflict. She had one chapter in her life I guess I'll call "Positive vs. Negative at The School of Hard Knocks".

 Kayla was clever and curious and wise. She had an inquiring mind but she was not book smart. She would never have a lot of "A"s on a report card to brag about but Kayla was not one to brag. In Kayla's world you didn't need to know the solution to x squared equals 4 or the chemical symbol for salt. In Kayla's world there was no need to read any of Shakespeare's works or find Timbuktu on a map.  Kayla was not a thinker. Kayla was a feeler. I think it might be easy to teach a thinker those things you find in books. It's probably a little more challenging to teach a feeler those things found in books. I don't know how you teach anyone to be a world champion feeler. I don't know how you teach anyone to feel comfortable and confident being the unique and wonderful person they were born. There are some lessons to be learned that can't be found in books.  A couple of years ago Kayla started high school. Started school each day with her smile, positive energy and bag of sunshine and moonbeams. Then one day the bullying started. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Not true. Words can do damage to those parts of us no one sees. I don't know the sort of words people say that can keep you from wanting to wake up each morning; what sort of words people say that can cause emotional pain every bit as real as a stab to the heart or a punch to the gut; I don't know what sort of words people say that can kill a spirit and leave someone grieving for the loss of themselves. This is the point in our story where the big, ugly, stinky, gross, disgusting, rude, dark negative forces of poop-flingers confronted one little girl full of sugar and spice and everything nice armed with a smile, positive energy and bag full of sunshine and moonbeams and glitter. Day after day they battled until Kayla felt the positive energy running low and she noticed a hole in her bag of sunshine; she could no longer find smiles in her make up bag. She felt she was going to lose the battle if she stayed in the arena. Somehow she found the courage to battle until the school year ended. Then the carefree days of an IsabelleandKayla summer began. You know...I love the sound of birds singing and chirping, bees buzzing as they fly from one flower to another and the sound of a gentle wind rustling leaves. But I really really really love the sound of IsabelleandKayla giggling - the happiest music I have ever heard. A sound so joyous my whole body felt it.   Summer ended and the beginning of a new school year grew close.    Sophomore year...She didn't want to quit school...she just didn't want to go back to THAT school.   Kayla could be very stubborn and when she said she was not going back to THAT school she meant it. The first day of school was quickly approaching. Too quickly. Then it was the day before the first day of school. Then it was the night before. Nightmares. Dreadful thoughts of a confrontation with the ugly, dark, stinky, gross, disgusting, rude negative forces of poop-flingers and bullies with mouths so full of sharp words waiting to cut her heart out. Fear. Desperation. She made cuts up and down both of her arms- an outward display of inner pain- and then without waking anyone in the household she called 911, told them she had attempted suicide and then waited on the front porch for the first responders. She avoided that first week of school with her public cry for help. The pandemic hit around that same time and that was a good thing for Kayla because she had the option to stay at home and take  classes online. Self-disciplined, she got into the habit of working on assignments first thing in the morning and then she spent the rest of her day listening to music and drawing. She also spent a lot of time perfecting her "look".  Gosh that girl had a lot of makeup! She adopted a few guinea pigs to cuddle with and spoil rotten. (As an aside she decided she should have three guinea pigs. One might get lonely. Three would make for a happy guinea pig family. So she daily cared for, nurtured and cuddled with a dad named Peanut, a mom named Sweetie and a baby named BB). Last summer her Positive Energy was eventually restored. Her make up bag was full of makeup and smiles. Her bag of sunshine and moonbeams and glitter was overflowing. She was ready to get back out into the world. This year she has been attending Thomas Edison Academy-an alternative school. She was so excited when she told me she was admitted. She got herself up and got ready for school every day - makeup and smiles and "Good Morning, Grandma".   Back in November Kayla's mom let me know that on January 13th Kayla would receive an Award of Excellence for her essay entitled "How I Want To Change The World".  I asked Kayla what she wrote about. "Oh, I would change how they keep pets in pet stores". Kayla did not attend the award ceremony on the evening of January 13th because she did not feel well. "How I Want To Change The World". I'm not sure what I would write in my essay. But the way Kayla wanted to change the world said a lot to me. It said Kayla felt she was in a pretty Good Place and she felt Good Place didn't need many major renovations. She wanted to make the world a better place for pets who had no one to love them. It said to me that Kayla had defeated the ugly, stinky dark negative forces of poop-flingers. It said to me that Kayla had struggled, endured and persevered and came out of the battle a champion, a positive force with no poop smears to ruin her "look". 

 "How I Want To Change The World". She started changing my world the day I witnessed the miracle of her birth.  She rocked my world. I kept silently reading these words over and over and over again in my quest to get them right and every darned time I got to this point Louis Armstrong burst right into my brain singing "What a Wonderful World"

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do

They're really saying I love you

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll never know

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world


Kayla probably didn't even know there was such a thing as a Golden Rule and if I would have said to her "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" she probably would have asked me what that meant.  Kayla was a pretty plain spoken get-right-to-the-point kind of girl. Lucky for us our model of Kayla came with the Golden Rule installed along with a grade A heart of gold.  I previously mentioned that sometimes Kayla was bullied. She deeply felt the very real pain of bullying.  Although no one may have stood up for her, she stood up for others when they were bullied. She was always there for the underdog. I don't know where she kept that finely tuned "underdog sensor" but she could detect when an underdog got close. She would try to comfort them, give them a couple of doses of goofball-ness and take them under her wing.  Kayla's mom Linda can tell you that every time she and Kayla were going to go out shopping Kayla would make sure Linda had some cash in her pocket just in case they ran across a needy person soliciting donations. Kayla called those needy folks hoboes. Kayla wasn't naive. She knew that maybe some of those hoboes were scammers but just in case they weren't she wanted to give them all a few dollars. Kayla felt that just because one hobo might be a scammer it didn't mean they all were. Help a Hobo! Love thy neighbor as thyself. That goofball must have really loved herself.

Yes, Kayla entered a room with a big smile, lit it up in style and When she left the room it was always with a loud "love you" or "love you guys". She made sure you heard that. And I know she wasn't just saying it to be saying it - she said it with feeling. 

January 15, 2022 Kayla died. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this little ditty... I started immediately missing her. I wondered the why. Every story is supposed to have a who, what, when, where and why before the grand finale. But I figure maybe some stories are never ending. 

There's an extreme fatigue that comes with grief. A few days after Kayla's death I hunkered down under a quilt on the couch and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried some more. I dozed off for a bit. Now, this is going to sound really hokey, cuckoo, bat poop crazy but I woke up suddenly because I felt like a bright light was shining on me and I heard an "ahhhhhh" noise like angels are supposed to make or maybe it was the sound of an "aha moment" or  maybe it was the sound of prayers and good thoughts and condolences passing through.   Who knows. But anyway, when I woke up I felt like I was wrapped in a really warm fuzzy, comforting embrace. No, I wasn't tangled up in a quilt! I felt Kayla's positive energy. I realized that Kayla was actually still with me. I realized I still had the same love for her in my heart and the same memories of her in my mind. We just would not make any new memories. (Well, unless she comes around to haunt me.) She still lives with me. She's still a goofball who makes me laugh. She wraps her arms around me and comforts me when I should be comforting her. There are lots of things in this world I cannot see like love, honesty and compassion but I absolutely, positively know they exist. 

Kayla's body died but the essence of Kayla has been uploaded and saved to The Cloud. She and lots of  other folks who have gone before her can be easily accessed in The Cloud if only you listen and learn the secret passwords and access codes.  

Sugar and spice and everything nice like kindness, compassion, giggles, empathy, smiles, forgiveness, love and laughter. In an explosion of colorful confetti her spirit has been released to the tune of "Staying Alive" and pieces of it have landed on all of us. Don't brush it off. Use it as a starter for your own batch of confetti. 

Kayla has left the room but she left the light on. 

[ At this point my mind sings "I'll be missing you"]


Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I pray

I'll be missing you

Thinkin' of the day, when you went away

What a life to take, what a bond to break

I'll be missing you.


Ok. Enough said. My stomach is really rumbling and churning. 


Love you, guys!


56 comments:

Gretchen Weaver said...

Cathy, my sincere sympathy, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. My prayer for you is that you will remember all the happy memories you've experience over the years, especially the ones you've forgotten. Your granddaughter will always live in your memory, brightening the world with her smile.

Anonymous said...

You have written a beautiful tribute to your precious granddaughter. Thank you. We're all holding you up in prayer as you mourn her loss.

JustGail said...

I'm so sorry about Kayla. You wrote a lovely tribute to her.

Elle said...

A beautiful writing from your heart about the girl who stole your heart.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Because of your honest words, I have an idea of Kayla’s personality, of the sunshine she spread in her wake. Thank you so much for pouring out your heart.

Nann said...

Oh, Cathy. What a wonderful tribute to Kayla -- a testimony of her loving nature and of your abiding love for her. {{{{Hugs to you and your family.}}}}

LIttle Penguin Quilts said...

Cathy, thank you for sharing this with us! I'm so sorry for your loss. I was glad to have the chance to get to know Kayla through your words.

gayle said...

Thank you for sharing Kayla with us. Sending you huge hugs.

Alycia~Quiltygirl said...

Oh Cathy.... for one who does not like to speak in public - your writing should always be shared. You gave us the most beautiful picture of a wonderful person and the impact she had on your life. The hair thing made me laugh - and I totally understand What a sweet spirit she had - and I can see that she truly will be missed by many. Sending you great big hugs and lots of love...

Anonymous said...

That was a beautiful tribute to Kayla, and yes, through you, I feel that I know her just a tiny bit. She was surely a wonderful young lady to spend time with. It sounds like you have lots memories to pull out when you're feeling lonely. Be assured that we all miss you on Stashbusters, but please take this time for yourself and be kind to yourself also. Joyce from WV

Unknown said...

What a wonderful tribute to your lovely Kayla. I hope it helps you deal with the massive grief you feel. Hugs and prayers to you and your family. Take care, jane

Candra said...

Oh my dear lady, I love you.
May your memories be sweet and your heart be comforted.
Candra from Iowa

Linda at Roscoe's Ma said...

I remember when you blogged that your granddaughter had died. I think I gasped for air. I can't even imagine the pain. I am grateful you could finally put on paper how you are feeling. She was a special soul and, yes, she is with you always. I am so sorry this happened. I'm so glad you could share this with your quilty friends. Lean on us...

Sue in Marion said...

What a beautiful tribute. You are a wonderful writer (as well as an incredibly creative quilter). Hugs from a Stashbuster friend.

Sally Trude said...

Thank you for writing such a beautiful and loving tribute to Kayla that now I can carry a piece of Kayla in my heart too.

Tracey said...

Oh, Cathy! What amazing memories you have of Kayla. I laughed out loud while reading about the amazing changing hair. Your writing is so heartfelt and eloquent. I hope that you can find comfort and wrap yourself in the happy memories you have… she is watching over you. Sending hugs your way.

stitchinpenny said...

A wonderful tribute. Take care of yourself. I am so sorry she was bullied but you have many wonderful memories and so much love for her that with work the positives will fill all of your heart and mind.

The Quilting Elf said...

Thank you, Cathy, for sharing your beautiful, lovable goofball, Kayla, with us. My late husband was a goofball also. They brightened our worlds for too short of a time, but oh what a world while we had them! Sending you hugs and holding space in my heart for you and your family. Kathy T in PA (formerly Tampa)

Shasta Matova said...

Oh Cathy, my heart really hurts for you. What a devastating loss. I really like the idea of her spirit being uploaded to The Cloud where you can easily access it. I feel like I carry a piece of her in my heart too. This is indeed a beautiful tribute. {{Hugs}}

djquilting said...

Cathy, thank you for such a beautifully written tribute and thank you for giving us such a loving glimpse of Kayla. She will always be with you, hanging out in the Cloud. Hugs, Doris

Pat said...

What a wonderful tribute to your granddaughter! May your love and memories of her warm you heart and your days!

Sam said...

Wow, an awesome tribute to Kayla. Thank you for sharing her with us. I will take some of the confetti and spread it around. Blessings

Carol E. said...

My dear Cathy, you are a beautiful soul. I am overwhelmed. My heart is sending you my hands to help lift up that weight of grief. I will help hold it for you for a while.

nestki said...

Cathy, you did Kayla proud. I am proud of Kayla, too, for overcoming that bullying. I am so glad she was born. She made the world a better place, and her memory does, too. Your tribute to her is beautifully expressed clear, and comes straight from your heart into mine. In a few words you made me understand. I am proud of you for writing it all to us in spite of your debilitating trepidation. I understand if you might want to write more. I wrote about my grandmother, for a year. I needed to hold on to her. I still miss her fifteen years later. I am so sorry for your loss, and the world’s loss. Big hugs.

BJ Coleman said...

My heart is breaking for you and your family as I read about Kayla. Having several granddaughters who do the same things you’ve shared, it is impossible to know how you have suffered in losing her. When you love so deeply and grieve so deeply you want to die along with them just to end that pain. But she wouldn’t want that, so you go on with life. You are truly a gifted person, in many ways. You keep her alive with your words. Please know we are all grieving with you. That may help you very little but we lal have bene blessed by you as you shared Kayla with us. Many prayers for comfort. She is alive in Heaven and you will see her again.

I hope you will continue to quilt and blog in time. Yours is one of my very favorites. An you, like Kayla, bring sunshine to all of us who follow you. She would be proud!❤️

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your wonderful granddaughter with us.

Meredithloughran1776@gmail.com said...

So very sorry for your wrenching loss. This tribute to your granddaughter helps us all to know (a little) this generous, loving sprite of a girl. Thank you. Again, may your grief and pain be lessened by your memories. Praying for peace for you and your family.

Paulette said...

What a beautiful tribute to your granddaughter Kayla. Your words are so descriptive and insightful, I feel honored to read them. May you continued to be comforted by your dear memories and the loving essence accessible through The Cloud (what a brilliant metaphor).

BrendaLou said...

A lovely tribute to Kayla. With your words I can see her, hear her. I lost a daughter when she was 29. Not a day goes by I don't think of her. You will have Kayla with you always. Speak of her often. Remember her every day. You WILL keep her close that way.❤️❤️❤️

Nancy said...

It's beyond sorrowful that such a beautiful young woman's life on earth ended when she was so young. And it's beyond sorrowful for you and those who love her to have to go on without her here on earth. I'm glad you sense her presence because I'm sure she's there trying to comfort you. This was a beautiful tribute to Kayla, Cathy -- one that has brought her to life to so many of us. Sending sympathy and praying for blessings for you and everyone who loved Kayla.

Quilting Babcia said...

Her earthly body is now gone, but Kayla's beautiful spirit lives on, as you've already discovered that day when you woke after dozing off and felt her light. Her gift to you, letting you know that she is free of her earthly shackles, and that she is still close to her beloved grandma. I pray that you will find comfort and closure with time and memories of the happy times will fill the void you're feeling now.

The Joyful Quilter said...

You done good, Grandma! You wrote a fabulous tribute. Thank you for sharing these memories of Kayla with us, Cathy!

sue s said...

I am so sorry for your loss Cathy. Today we had my mother-in-law's service and it's been an emotional day. So I wasn't sure I could read this tribute. But I have, and I want you to know what a loving tribute this is. Bless you and continue to talk about Kayla.

Cathy said...

Kayla sounds like an amazing, sweet and loving girl. Thanks you for sharing her light and life with us in such a loving manner. We will remember her and grieve with you. We all need to carry the Kayla spirit, sunshine and kindness in our interactions with others.

Quilter Kathy said...

A beautiful tribute to a well loved granddaughter. I'm so sorry for this terrible loss and hope that your practice of quilting will help to stitch your heart back together over time.

christina said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. It was beautiful and heart wrenching to read. I hope you continue to feel Kayla with you and can fling her glitter and moonbeams for her. :)

Catskill Quilter said...

My heart aches for you. Your tribute to Kayla was so moving that I almost felt I had known her too. Thank you for sharing her with us in the midst of your grief. Prayers and Good Thoughts...headed your way...

MissPat said...

Cathy, there is nothing I can say that will lessen the grief and pain you feel at losing your granddaughter. I do understand that grief and pain, though, as my husband died of a heart attack in October. Losing a loved one suddenly brings forth added emotions and challenges. Thank you for finding the strength to share Kayla with us.
Pat

Nikki said...

You have shared the wonder of Kayla with us. Thank you.

cityquilter grace said...

it takes courage to bear one's soul in such a public way but the depth of your grief demands relief in any way possible...thank you for introducing us to kayla in this small way and may her memory live forever in your heart...

Laura said...

This is the most beautiful and heartwarming tribute that I have ever read, Cathy! Your courage in writing it will touch many who need the love shared here. I lost a 14 year old niece. She lived with me a short time. Your tribute encourages me.

bookworm said...

Cathy, my heart breaks for you. I’m sure Kayla felt all your love. Your story of her gave me such a beautiful picture of her. I lost my 18 year old daughter and miss her fiercely. I hope the pain lessens and leaves you only good memories.

Jeanne said...

Cathy, What a gift you have given to me. I lost my younger sister about a year ago and your words and descriptions of Kayla remind me so much of Nancy. She was the youngest of 4 in our family and always travelled to the beat of her our drummer! I never realized how much she meant to me until she was taken away from us unexpectedly. As I read your words, I think of her. She and Kayla would have been great friends. Thanks so much for what you have written. They are helping me learn to live with the memories and good times we had! Kayla was lucky to have a grandma like you! Hang in there and cherish your memories. Jeanne

Sue said...

This. Is. Beautiful.

mangozz said...

I feel so honored that you shared so much about Kayla and your love for her. I wish there was something I could say or do to help you get through your grief but it will take time. Jeanne said that Kayla was lucky to have had a grandma like you and I totally agree.

Sandi1100 said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your granddaughter. You wrote a beautiful piece on Kayla. She will always be there with you.

Claire said...

Although I never knew Kayla, I know her now. Your words are a beautiful tribute. I'll never forget, She "left the room but she left the lights on."

Lynn Dykstra said...

My deepest sympathies.

Ann said...

Dear Cathy, I am deeply saddened to read of the passing of your beloved granddaughter. Your tribute reflects the light she brought as you reflect her joy despite this tragedy. With all my sympathy. Ann

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing this tribute to Kayla.Tears are dripping down my face. Your words clearly show the love for this goofball and the impact she had/has on your life. My deepest condolences for you and your family. Sandy at sewhigh.blogspot.com

Linda Swanekamp said...

Cathy, the words you found speak volumes. Your love for Kayla and her life is real and deep. May you find comfort and peace amidst such a time as this.

Vivian said...

Cathy, I am truly sorry you lost an important light in your life. As you have found, those we have loved never leave us because we remember them and what they meant to us. You honor her by trying to bring a little of what she gave to you back out into the world as you did with this.

Meloney said...

Kayla is beautiful. You are beautiful. Big Bear Hugs to you. Love and prayers are surrounding you.

Jeanne said...

What beautiful and loving and heartfelt memories and thoughts. I'm so very sorry for your loss! Kayla lives on in your hearts.

Rosie said...

what a beautiful tribute to your granddaughter. Your love must have wrapped her in such comfort when she was going through those challenging times.

Preeti said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You honor Kayla's memory with such heartfelt and beautiful words. Sending love and hugs.