On July 15, six months after the unexpected death of my granddaughter Kayla, I hosted a butterfly release memorial at our camp site which is only a few miles from my home. Fifty Painted Lady butterflies were released and memories of Kayla were shared. Approximately sixty-two family and friends were in attendance.
Butterflies are deep and powerful representations of life. Butterflies are beautiful and have mystery, symbolism, and meaning and are a metaphor representing spiritual rebirth, transformation, change, hope, and life. The magnificent, yet short life of the butterfly closely mirrors the process of spiritual transformation and serves to remind us that life is short.
I picked a lot of flowers, mostly zinnias, from my garden the morning of the memorial and passed them out to folks before the memorial. I was hoping the butterflies might land on a few before they took off.
I gave a little talk about Kayla and then gave some fun facts about Painted Lady butterflies.
Great uncle, great aunt, aunt, second cousins, friends...
...aunts, second cousins, friends, great aunts and uncles...
...the latest generation...
...cousins, friends...
...multiple generations...
My granddaughter, Isabelle, who is five weeks older than Kayla, released one box of 25 butterflies and had one that lingered in the box for awhile. My daughter-in-law Linda, Kayla's mom, released the other box.
Isabelle also made a charcoal sketch of Kayla and presented it to Linda.
One of the Painted Ladies sat on the ground for awhile soaking up the sun. My great nephew who is normally a pretty wild and crazy four year old guy, oh so carefully and gently coaxed the butterfly on to his flower. A great niece wanted a butterfly for her flower...
...so she and one of the three year old twin great nieces went in search of butterflies.
After the butterfly release everyone was invited to enjoy a picnic type meal. I prepared all of the food - ham sandwiches, mac and cheese, baked beans, potato salad, marinated cukes and onions, jello with fruit cocktail. And for dessert...apple crisp and peach cobbler. I had planned food for 50 people and although we had approximately 62 people in attendance a lot of those were kids. I didn't run out of food and I didn't have many leftovers.
I am Not There
Do not stand by my grave and weep
For I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am diamonds that glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of butterflies in joyous flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there.
I did not die.
...Clare Harner Lyon, 1934
And now I'm home again, home again, jiggety jig.
21 comments:
Cathy, that sounds like a wonderful way to honor and remember Kayla. I'm glad so many people were able to come! The Painted Lady butterflies are beautiful, and a perfect way to symbolize the cycle of all life. Hugs to you!
What a thoughtful and tender experience to honor and remember Kayla. I'm sure it touched the hearts of all who attended. Blessings to you.
Wishing you kaleidoscopes of butterflies, always and forever.
A beautiful tribute to Kayla. Blessings to you.
such an appropriate ceremony....so much better than awful balloons that harm wildlife...
Beautiful tribute. <3
what an amazingly beautiful thing to do... and hooray to you for preparing everything... you amaze me constantly. please take care in this awful heat. you know i used to live in the deep south - we used to blow a fan over a bowl of ice and it felt like air conditioning. or freeze a damp handtowel in the freezer, then put it around your neck. You probably know all these tricks already ! Be good to yourself.
The butterfly release was a perfect way to celebrate Kayla and I'm sure it was enjoyed by all. I don't know anyone who doesn't enjoy the beauty of a butterfly. Painted Ladies are so pretty too. One year I had so many of them on my asters and butterfly bushes. I don't see many of them any more.
An awesomely beautiful tribute!
Butterflies are incredibly meaningful to me. Especially after the heart attach when I was given bonus time. It sounds like a beautiful healing time and it was wonderful so many people came.
What a beautiful way to remember your Granddaughter Kayla and so nice to see so many friends and relatives to share the day with you.
The poem was written by Clare Harner in 1934.
Sending heartfelt blessings to you from England <3
What a lovely and unique memorial for your granddaughter. All the little children will remember this memorial since it was so unique and special!
Now every time you see a painted lady you can pause a moment and remember Kayla. What a beautiful service.
What a thoughtful way to honor Kayla. It looks like you have a very caring and close-knit family.
A wonderful remembrance of Kayla. It was nice that so many of Kayla's friends were there as well as family. And the many young children are a reminder that life goes on.
I attended a funeral service for a dear friend and when we were at the grave site, a butterfly landed first on the memorial stone of her son and then flitted over to the shoulder of her husband. I get teary eyed just remembering it.
Pat
I can not tell you how much I love this. You brought tears to my eyes. I hope it was healing and helpful for you and your family - its so hard to deal with loss, especially in someone so young. Hugs to you!!!!
What a wonderful remembrance to celebrate Kayla’s life. We need more love and butterflies (and less war and hate) in our lives.
I can't imagine how physically and emotionally exhausting this must have been to put together. A truly beautiful tribute to your granddaughter and a gift to all those who loved her.
What a joy to see so many family members from multiple generations sharing in this beautiful memorial. I hope it was everything you needed it to be. And the butterflies were the perfect touch. So pretty (and symbolic).
What a wonderful way to celebrate Kayla!!!! Blessings to all!
Such a perfect way to remember Kayla and share memories of her, releasing the butterflies - such a joyous and moving experience for you all.
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